RISE (Resilient Integration for Survivor Empowerment) for Removing Guilt of Suicide of Loved Ones
By Cecilia Lai Wan Chan, Ph.D.
Introduction
It is common for suicide-bereaved survivors to ask questions such as: “How come I didn’t notice any signs of it before? I should have stopped it! Did I say something wrong? It is all my fault! How come you abandoned the family and me? I am to be blamed. I am responsible for your death. I can do nothing, I have no hope! I can’t go on with my life…”
Doris suffered from depression for 10 years following her grandmother’s suicide. She cannot hold on to a job. She tried to run away from her home. She has no friends. She holds on to a Continue reading››
It’s time: A challenge to survivors of suicide
By Jerry and Elsie Weyrauch 
Survivors of suicide (those who have lost a loved one to suicide) face innumerable challenges– from the moment they learn of the suicide until they find acceptance. The challenge to reduce the impact of suicidal behavior, so others may be spared a survivor’s life, becomes a lifetime of prevention activity for many people. However, for most, reaching the point where they can just “get on” with their lives is probably sufficient challenge.
Survivors also have learned, from experience or the history of the past 15 years, that one person and a new approach can make the difference between status quo and significant positive progress forward! Many survivors live with a constant Continue reading››
Martyr Personalites and Suicide
by Ernest Shulman
Suicide bombers are in the news. The public sees fanatics dying to make a political point. Some people, however, choose death, not for a cause, but in association with a martyr-like lifestyle. Such individuals exist everywhere. Here I discuss three of them: Vincent Van Gogh from Holland, Primo Levi from Italy, and Nikolay Gogol of Russia.
Van Gogh (1853-1890)
Tormented by failures to connect with others, especially women he desired, Van Gogh lived largely a solitary existence. Some of his habits alienated people (Lubin, 1972). For example, he dressed and spoke uncouthly, indifferent to others’ expectations. He always lived in poverty. He distanced himself from teachers and colleagues. Paul Gauguin lived with him in Arles, France, for a few months but Continue reading››
Beatitudes for Survivors after Suicide
By LaRita Archibald
BLESSED are they that recognize suicide grief is compounded; that we grieve the death of a beloved person, but first and foremost, we grieve the cause of the death.
BLESSED are they that give us permission to mourn the loss of one dearly loved, free of judgment, censure, and shame.
BLESSED are spiritual guides who relieve our concerns for the repose of our loved one’s soul with the truth that God is All-Knowing, All-Loving, and All-Forgiving.
BLESSED are they that don’t offer the meaningless cliché, “Time Heals,” because, for a long while, the passing of time holds no meaning or value for us. Continue reading››
If this helps…
By Ginny Sparrow
I was often told, after the suicide of my mother, that there is a gift in every tragedy. A silver lining. Such bs to most of us.
Fifteen long years later, I do have to admit I have found gifts. Gifts of courage, of strength, of sense of humor about things simply out of my control. Here are a few things that I know I handle completely differently than “before”:
- When I hear of a tragedy, a death, a diagnosis, I have no fear about picking up the phone, sending a card or grief book. Where I used to fool myself into believing the bereaved “needed space” I now know Continue reading››